A bed of roses & their thorns

Went to watch five-foot broadway musical this evening. It was a great performance! Thoroughly enjoyed myself.. I think I kinda know why the musical struck such a chord with everyone..because it's theme was mainly Love.

Oh you know how we are like, we need love, want love, desire desire... we truly secretly or sometimes blatantly hate being alone and all. So when it comes to the topic of love oh what a hot topic it is. I think I even saw a few un-dried eyes at the performance.

Love, I don't think it's over-rated but maybe not emphasized in too similar ways. So many different types of love yet only an emphasis on one kind... just a bit too much.

Ok it is easier said than done.. I know God's love is amazing and He loves me more than I can even fathom and truly I am thankful for how I can place my trust in Him even in situations unknown.

I trust. No matter how bad things get or how unknown the future is, no matter if I feel I lack I will still trust. Not trust because I have great faith but trusting in His faithfulness. I guess that is one way to comfort myself when I feel alone.

Sigh I dislike feeling busy... it's hard to balance your time for everything, everybody (especially God). Interning is tough 'cause I have to commute so far but yes it's far my future so I HAVE to do it. Next week I start assisting pop vocal classes. So funny, how do teach a bunch of secondary school kids stage presence? Seriously. Interesting, something I look forward to. Just stand there and look pretty lor.

I think I can blabber on and on talking and just having verbal diarrhoea but I shall stop now 'cause my fingers are tired. Toodles diary.

P.S I take photos but I don't post or send on time.. I'm terrible! I know=p

Oh boohoo. Gone are the freedom days forever gone I expect. Sigh it's only been the first 2 days of interning and I feel under-utilised. Like PLEAAAASEEE give me more work to do! Do I really have to sit there and surf the net the whole day...I could get a hemorrhage. Yups please don't envy me because it's not very fun having to amuse myself.

Plus I have to travel half way round S'pore just to go to work everyday...urgh from the west to the east like the sun only backwards. Sighh... butttttt I did pray about it and yes I felt like I should. So please please let it can better. Can't wait to get started on work proper I'm sure it will be fun, fulfilling and a good booster for one's CV.

Oh yes and the washing machine broke today. Urgh. Everything is crummy. I reached home at 9pm today... I missed sayang sayang. Haha and so what's wrong with that? I happen to think certain locally produced dramas are good ok. Oh well... looks like I won't exactly follow the series anymore since I missed the 2nd episode. Tan Kheng Hua rocks, i think good actors and actresses own the character they don't let the character own them.

So anyway...I don't feel all too positive right now 'cause I have to wake up at 730am just to reach my workplace at 10am. Like bummer. Ok shall not be such wet blanket... it will be good. It will be fine. Just work what...

This is terrible. All I wanna do is to just rot well relax and rot at home. But I'm not entirely unproductive you know. I bake, find recipes, do art, read, swim, attempt to play the piano again... and basically be married to the house.. so it's really quite fulfilling. I can possibly get this housewife thing down pat.

But omyged no no, I need to work eventually. Speaking of housewives reminds me of mothers.. and speaking of mothers reminds me of kids.. which leads me to a certain friend who has a sudden desire to be paternal. Yes I have been thinking too. Is it possible to get the kids without the spouse. I have always been open to the idea of adopting children in the future if let's say I never get married. It's not really such a bad idea! Like... gosh I really enjoy being the way I am that if I had to compromise for somebody I really need to love him big time. China girls. I have always wanted to adopt a baby girl from china! What with the female infanticide there and abandonment of baby girls, many baby girls are up for adoption.

I'm not too sure of the situation now since women are becoming more emancipated, but I think it's more of a tradition rather than economic issue that boys are preferred over girls. Beats me really... we are all people.

So there... I will be a good mother. Haha.. I hope. Truly exciting and rather strange to even think of kids at this point in time...but oh well at a certain age the maternal instincts somehow finds it's way back to haunt you.

Ok future adopted-babygirl-from-china, hope to see you soon! Remember to be wrapped in pink! But when you come to Singapore you can do whatever you like... even play football and I promise I won't force you to wear dresses=) But please at least enjoy listening to music.

I can't believe I'm back again, blogging. It has been ages and I'm not quite sure what has driven me back to write on this long forgotten space. It doesn't really matter if anybody sees it and perhaps it's the fact that well... most likely nobody will that makes me feel like writing again.

This place brings back many memories, brings back many different yet familiar emotions... once experience then lost but never forgotten. What makes me smile, what makes me peeved. The disillusioned maturity... maybe I never grew at all?

But I'm sure I have grown somewhat.. I'm quite sure I have changed.. we are creatures most palpable to change are we not? I have grown stronger as a Christian, I have grown stronger as a woman. It feels strange to write like this.. so frank and candid.. that is so not me. But hey.. like I said the fact that nobody is going to read this drives me to be this open about my thoughts on a late Thursday night.

I can never have the thing that I think I want most. Does that make sense? Because in actual fact I don't really want it as much as I think I do. I always wonder then why does it still hurt so much when I know I don't want it and it is not meant for me?

So it is clear that some things just don't change. I will always be in this sticky rut...forever stuck.

Faces change but feelings are still the same... will I always be bound by such situations? I never chose to be confronted with them but I can choose it's outcome. So I choose, though it hurts I choose.