A bed of roses & their thorns

I realise that i have many passions, many interests and hobbies...but like they say jack of all trades, master of none. How pathetic. I look back at my life and realise that despite all that passion and interest i have never really invested my time and energy into any of those areas to truly say that 'i'm good', and really mean it. Yup,how pathetic...like where have u been swee? So sad. Shall try to maximise on the time before entering uni to do something with that interest.

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You know if love is a choice...then there can't ever be such a thing as love at first sight right? I mean because it's a choice it requires effort and hence a lot does not come from mere feeling as such is the basis of this love at first sight concept. I mean love at first sight would mean a sudden rush of emotions that literally leaves you breathless. Then this love at first sight will lead to the birth of an infatuation due the constant thought of this particular meeting...spiralling to silly romantic fantasies and so forth.

So how do feelings become entangled in this web of love? Do we have any basis to say that we are in love, if love is a choice, juz because we feel different about a particular person? Yet to a rational and practical person...it does seem rather ludicrous. How can you love a person if you don't know the person well enough to make a choice? Hence love at first sight may not actually exist.

But a probable rebuttal would be that there is some sort of divine intervention. I mean as Christians, we believe that if it is in congruous to God's will, He will provide a special someone for those who 'need' it. I guess i say 'need' it because others have the honour of using their singlehood in servitude for God and still be perfectly happy.

But ok, if you ask me...love at first sight is really quite ludicrous, a proclamation made owing to hormones working over-time... Still it is such a romantic, hollywood-styled sort of love tt i guess secretly in all our hearts we do wish it would hurry up hit us on the head already, haha:)

It's raining again in our sunny island singapore, so lurvely makes me think of the supposedly dreary cityscape of London. I like rainy days, wet shiny asphalt, drumming roof tops, the scent of dewy wet earth. I juz don't like it when my feet get wet so i try to avoid wearing flip-flops, bummer.

Currently swee is working as a little ol' waitress:) It's quite an experience and i like the environment of the place, plus great food. Yes so while i wuz working several thoughts ran through my mind...i think it's really cool being a waitress, in a way it helps one become stronger don't u think? As in despite having a horrible day or encountering a rude customer, one still needs to put oneself aside and continue with one's best front. It's like you put all your own emotions aside and juz keep giving the best svs u can possibly give. I think it's great cuz i feel stronger. It's like training one's patience and self-control:) Waitresses (& waiters) r cool dudes y'all. I really enjoy this customer svs thing...ok so granted it wuz only my 2nd day, the other more seasoned workers has shared me the horrors of unreasonable, demanding customers but tt's ok...hopefully i will not lose my cool..

Anywayz A level results r coming out sooner than i would rather it to be...so, yupz for the time-being i shall juz trust and pray that all would turn out well:)

I'm currently in the transit zone, the zone waiting to enter the big unknown n i don't like it one bit anymore. Maybe i do, the possibilities are exciting but the unfamiliarity is daunting as i expound once more.

Haha the last day made me realise how much i miss being a little junior beginning jc. I don't really want to grow up now. I do want the freedom of being a grown-up but sigh, will it be as uneventful, stressful and all those things that people say when u grow up. I think experience is the only teacher for this area.

Juz 6 months more before i enter another phase of my education life. So what do i, ought i to expect from uni life? Is it gg to be one filled with passion, spirit and integrity...or is it gonna be one huge slimeball out there? Or maybe that's juz the working world...Will i be able to uphold my own ideals or will i be weak and fall as others excavate the ground i stand upon. What would it be like? I wonder if i ought to listen to what others say abt uni life...bleagh...bleagh y can't there be an AC uni y'all...omgosh how silly.

Ok i shall stop my incessant and blatant rambling about the future, gg for choir alumni now...haha and so i guess it never ends one way or the other, good medicine for one's nostalgic soul.

Well well back again in school crashing orientation as a j3. I must say despite gg through orientation thrice, each are of a different perspective hence diff emotions surface.
No matter what...my first orientation will always be the most special one, the second wuz tiring but a great experience of being in the shoes of an ogl and the third...haha made me realise that im ready to grow up:)
I must say orientation this year is great, the j1s really look like they r enjoying themselves immensely, esp the og i crashed...super enthu bunch of peeps. But i guess for me it's juz dejavu again...and it is quite tiring...really makes me admire the ogls for having so much energy rah rahing the rest of the j1s. I came back because i couldn't and didn't want to let go but after i experienced it i realised tt i would prefer to be a spectator. Of course there are certain instances whereby i would love to join in...but many a times i prefer juz to observe and reminisce.
So i have learnt to let it go but the memories of all my experience will always be dear to me. The cool thing is that even til today i can still rmb quite abit of my old j1 mass dance...but m struggling with this year's dance. It seems like the dance gets harder each year y'all...
Yupz tmr is e last day yeah! Campfire. Haha the campfire items always give such a headache cuz we all dunno what to do:) But i think this og will be able to pull it off lah...yeah kruger rocks!!!! Okies...May God bless all u new batch of j1s:) This is swee signing out.