A bed of roses & their thorns

I can't believe I'm back again, blogging. It has been ages and I'm not quite sure what has driven me back to write on this long forgotten space. It doesn't really matter if anybody sees it and perhaps it's the fact that well... most likely nobody will that makes me feel like writing again.

This place brings back many memories, brings back many different yet familiar emotions... once experience then lost but never forgotten. What makes me smile, what makes me peeved. The disillusioned maturity... maybe I never grew at all?

But I'm sure I have grown somewhat.. I'm quite sure I have changed.. we are creatures most palpable to change are we not? I have grown stronger as a Christian, I have grown stronger as a woman. It feels strange to write like this.. so frank and candid.. that is so not me. But hey.. like I said the fact that nobody is going to read this drives me to be this open about my thoughts on a late Thursday night.

I can never have the thing that I think I want most. Does that make sense? Because in actual fact I don't really want it as much as I think I do. I always wonder then why does it still hurt so much when I know I don't want it and it is not meant for me?

So it is clear that some things just don't change. I will always be in this sticky rut...forever stuck.

Faces change but feelings are still the same... will I always be bound by such situations? I never chose to be confronted with them but I can choose it's outcome. So I choose, though it hurts I choose.