A bed of roses & their thorns

"Kremlin Dusk"

All along I was searching for my Lenore

In the words of Mr. Edgar Allan Poe

Now I'm sober and "Nevermore"

Will the Raven come to bother me at home

Calling you, calling you home

You... calling you, calling you home

By the door you said you had to go

Couldn't help me anymore

This I saw coming, long before

So I kept on staring out the window

Calling you, calling you home

You... calling you, calling you home

I am a natural entertainer, aren't we all

Holding pieces of dying ember

I'm just trying to remember who I can call

Who can I call

Home... calling you, calling you

I run a secret propaganda

Aren't we all hiding pieces of broken anger

I'm just trying to remember who I can call

Can I call

*Born in a war of opposite attraction

It isn't, or is it a natural conception

Torn by the arms in opposite direction

It isn't or is it a Modernist reaction

*Born in a war of opposite attraction

It isn't, or is it a natural conception

Torn by the arms in opposite direction

It isn't or is it a Modernist reaction

Is it like thisIs it always the same

When a heartache begins, is it like this

Do you like this

Is it always the same

Will you come back again

Do you like this

Is it always the same

Will come back again

Do you like this Do you like this

Is it like thisIs it always the same

If you change your phone number, will you tell me

Is it like this

Is it always the same

When a heartache begins, is it like this

If you like this Will you remember my name

Will you play it again, if you like this

(by Utada Hikaru)

***********************

I'm always good at hiding my feelings under layers of doubt, under layers and layers and layers 'til sometimes I just lose myself and lose so much. Can you turn the tables now? So much passion can also have that dangerous potential of turning into hate. I have never felt more rawness in myself than I do now the way life just surprises you like this, catches you off guard and when you cross that thin red line you know, that close to nothing can burn off the ice.

It's not complex, very simple actually when you take a step back and assess the situation. I now know where to go and how to go about doing it. It's very simple once you get pass the sudden flux of breathlessness, the ache then you feel the same old you returning back again.

I always hoped, waited, was patient but I think it was a foolish thing. I feel the sudden coldness blowing at my heart and I swear this is the last. Never more will I search for my last lenore. I never needed and never will. In a sense there is goodness to come out of the pain. I taste and now I feel how life truly is when you feel like emotions can totally consume you. Consume me 'til I'm numb and in want of no more.