A bed of roses & their thorns

On Sunday, one of my church friends told me how my msn nick inspired her to keep trying=) A very simple thing to say but when she said it, it gave me strength. To encourage oneself and in the process encourage another really creates so much joy. I have come to a point in time whereby trusting God does not make me feel secure but in actual makes me doubt even more. It's quite a strange thought but rather logical if you see it in a secular light. By saying that you trust in God you relinquish control over things and so you would feel helpless in some sense. Though of course, God helps those who help themselves so maybe there is some form of power left in our hands.

I just had my first paper today...I like this module=) I prayed really hard but I am still uncertain about the outcome. But you know what... doesn't matter anymore whether life gives me a kiss on the cheek or slaps me in the face, I shall appreciate it. That is the beauty of life, the flavour of life. If I die tomorrow it's good if I live 'til 80 it's great if I don't die haha...even better I guess. So if I do get my dreams it's good, if I don't then great it will be a surprise. Whatever it is I think I shall embrace it and just keep on going on.

Of course it is easier said than done, especially at 2pm today when I will receive yet another assignment which may break my bones and spirit all over again. Oh my God...are you still there, they are small little things but I already feel so brittle...please help me trust in you again.


"I don't care about anything
While making a face like, "OK, Whatever"
I've always, always been praying
I want what I don't have
I can't be satisfied that easily
So I keep trying"
("Keep trying"--utada hikaru)