Tuesday, April 24, 2007
hunger
As you can see studying in school is an immensely boring thing to do hence the constant update of my blog...
Today as I was travelling to school with bjork blasting in my ears I was triggered into thinking about how hungry I always was. Not physical hunger but the hunger that is drive. It scared me that I will never be fully assuaged. What if I realise that no matter how much I do I will never be fully satisfied?
I got back my lit essay...pretty hilarious... I was so afraid the grade will totally marr my studying time in school that I told my friend to keep it for me without showing me the grade and then passing it back to me at 9.30pm when we left school. Ok so it was a rather well done piece=) I'm glad I improved, but what scared me was that I didn't dwell on the relief and happiness that was brought about by God's grace, but instead was poring over the paper to see what went wrong. Then...thinking about consultation blah blah blah
Ohmyged am I a workaholic, control-freak? I think I can never be satisfied. Never...'til I die and go to heaven?
That's why I feel scared for myself in the future... I hope that I will know when enough is enough and not totally go crazy. Then again... I think I'm exaggerating lah... hunger... I am hungry but I do know that in the end the rat race is for naught...so lets just enjoy the feeling of being full.
Today as I was travelling to school with bjork blasting in my ears I was triggered into thinking about how hungry I always was. Not physical hunger but the hunger that is drive. It scared me that I will never be fully assuaged. What if I realise that no matter how much I do I will never be fully satisfied?
I got back my lit essay...pretty hilarious... I was so afraid the grade will totally marr my studying time in school that I told my friend to keep it for me without showing me the grade and then passing it back to me at 9.30pm when we left school. Ok so it was a rather well done piece=) I'm glad I improved, but what scared me was that I didn't dwell on the relief and happiness that was brought about by God's grace, but instead was poring over the paper to see what went wrong. Then...thinking about consultation blah blah blah
Ohmyged am I a workaholic, control-freak? I think I can never be satisfied. Never...'til I die and go to heaven?
That's why I feel scared for myself in the future... I hope that I will know when enough is enough and not totally go crazy. Then again... I think I'm exaggerating lah... hunger... I am hungry but I do know that in the end the rat race is for naught...so lets just enjoy the feeling of being full.
// posted by grace @ 11:15 AM 
