Monday, July 18, 2005
prints
I juz received the choir tour cd which documents our entire trip into a kaleidoscope of memories frozen in time. Er ok...ie, photos lah. Sigh...i guess i did not really expound on my feelings towards those moments and that period of time. Seeing it flashing all over again...brings back a smile on my face. I guess...those moments...i should have fully enjoyed and immerse myself in them because they will never be again. I wish i did. I wish i really took it in and fully and totally immersed myself into every single moment there was to experience during that period of time.
I rmb cass telling me on the cruise, she was enjoying herself so much she wanted to totally take everything in and juz bask in this knowledge of being...i for one didn't know why, but i wuz taking it as an everyday thing...It juz wuz like that lor to me at that time. I wuz having fun...but i juz didn't know how to fully be transcended into that moment. So strange. I couldn't. I knew it would be a regrettable thing if i didn't really make the most of my time, but I juz didn't really thought it would be absolutely neccessary.
I think i will never forget that announcement. That announcement at the square. Even at certain times, it still reverberates in my head and i would slowly whisper it to myself(complete with the cool accent and everything). While looking at all those pics, us cheering like xiao kias(mad kids), again i heard the announcement and tried to summon up the feeling again. The feeling of sheer euphoria. Euphoria. I have experienced it a few times before:) That special feeling, though transient is worth the pain that comes with or before it, that somewhat complements it.
Haiz. I have lost that sensitivity to my surroundings. I'm too concerned with the inner events occuring within me, my moods, my thoughts, my 'demons' that lurk in me. It's always me. How disgustingly self-indulgent, equivalent to that of Eustacia Vyes. Bleagh...tho she is quite an exciting character...To always be so wrapped up in that big me, is so tiring. And it hinders the experience one is gg through by limiting one's sensitivity to rest of the world. I will learn to take it all in. To see beyond self, then mayb I will be able to experience that joy in everything that comes my way.
I rmb cass telling me on the cruise, she was enjoying herself so much she wanted to totally take everything in and juz bask in this knowledge of being...i for one didn't know why, but i wuz taking it as an everyday thing...It juz wuz like that lor to me at that time. I wuz having fun...but i juz didn't know how to fully be transcended into that moment. So strange. I couldn't. I knew it would be a regrettable thing if i didn't really make the most of my time, but I juz didn't really thought it would be absolutely neccessary.
I think i will never forget that announcement. That announcement at the square. Even at certain times, it still reverberates in my head and i would slowly whisper it to myself(complete with the cool accent and everything). While looking at all those pics, us cheering like xiao kias(mad kids), again i heard the announcement and tried to summon up the feeling again. The feeling of sheer euphoria. Euphoria. I have experienced it a few times before:) That special feeling, though transient is worth the pain that comes with or before it, that somewhat complements it.
Haiz. I have lost that sensitivity to my surroundings. I'm too concerned with the inner events occuring within me, my moods, my thoughts, my 'demons' that lurk in me. It's always me. How disgustingly self-indulgent, equivalent to that of Eustacia Vyes. Bleagh...tho she is quite an exciting character...To always be so wrapped up in that big me, is so tiring. And it hinders the experience one is gg through by limiting one's sensitivity to rest of the world. I will learn to take it all in. To see beyond self, then mayb I will be able to experience that joy in everything that comes my way.
// posted by grace @ 11:28 PM 
