Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Faraway
I always have much to say but am too lazy to switch on the com to type it all out. Nowadays, my thoughts drift here and there to a place far away...
So much to do, trying to say thank you every single day but finding it hard to even try. Trying not to sound too pessimistic but I know i fail every other second. Even as I speak, I know i shouldn't even be wasting my precious time in such a luxurious manner.
This year is passing so so fast. First 3 months have gone...reshuffling of classes for the juniors...the urgency and pressure increasing for us. I am happy, juz tt I can't be happy all the time. Or am I lying to myself? Maybe I have fallen but I am juz lying to myself each and every single day. I sit at the bleaches and think to myself...What a wonderful world. Then as the day begins the degeneration sets in. And worst of all is tt...mayb things only seemed better because he was around, then when that special someone disappears, the veil is only lifted to reveal something which bliss hid all this while.
And to think tt I scorn at such behaviour! For what sort of life is it to live pinning for a person? Besides living for God...one ought to be happy with the life tt he/she has without having to rely on a person for happiness!! That's really horrid...I never want such dependency on anyone.
Still... I can't believe I'm unable to forget. Part of me wants to let go and I wonder why I am so stubborn. Confusion sets in when feelings seem to thwart to another...then I ask why and I get no answer.
Sigh if only time can pass by more quickly. Maybe when the exams are over I will have a clearer view of who I am and what I ought to do with my life. Indeed, the main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing.
Main thing: Live for the Lord.
So much to do, trying to say thank you every single day but finding it hard to even try. Trying not to sound too pessimistic but I know i fail every other second. Even as I speak, I know i shouldn't even be wasting my precious time in such a luxurious manner.
This year is passing so so fast. First 3 months have gone...reshuffling of classes for the juniors...the urgency and pressure increasing for us. I am happy, juz tt I can't be happy all the time. Or am I lying to myself? Maybe I have fallen but I am juz lying to myself each and every single day. I sit at the bleaches and think to myself...What a wonderful world. Then as the day begins the degeneration sets in. And worst of all is tt...mayb things only seemed better because he was around, then when that special someone disappears, the veil is only lifted to reveal something which bliss hid all this while.
And to think tt I scorn at such behaviour! For what sort of life is it to live pinning for a person? Besides living for God...one ought to be happy with the life tt he/she has without having to rely on a person for happiness!! That's really horrid...I never want such dependency on anyone.
Still... I can't believe I'm unable to forget. Part of me wants to let go and I wonder why I am so stubborn. Confusion sets in when feelings seem to thwart to another...then I ask why and I get no answer.
Sigh if only time can pass by more quickly. Maybe when the exams are over I will have a clearer view of who I am and what I ought to do with my life. Indeed, the main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing.
Main thing: Live for the Lord.
// posted by grace @ 9:43 PM 
