Saturday, April 30, 2005
Another week come and gone...so fast eh? This year is zipping by and by. Soon I will be free, I think. That's of course juz a commonly perceived notion tt after tt milestone exam i can and will b free. Ah watever, I'm juz glad I'm not a guy.:P Sorry to all males out there.
Ah...will b sharing devotions next week. And honestly, i'm scared. I have an inkling of what I would like to share, but i haven't quite penned it down yet. I guess the reason for keep putting it off is because, I'm afraid it won't come out as how I want it to be or b as good as I hope for it to b. That's not right then, I mean this sharing is not abt self satisfaction or gratification. *sigh* furthermore, it's rather daunting to share with everybody...how strange, is not like public speaking is such a big deal. Furthermore I shd take heart that the Lord will grant me words and wisdom. I feel like Moses, I feel like telling Him tt I'm not worthy and I know not what to say or how to put His msg across to the people. Everybody seems to b so uninterested with what people have to say during devotions. It's really so silly, they can juz listen to at least gain a little insight on their self professed meaningless life, yet there has to be a constant parade of higher authorities on the look-out for people who really juz don't want to care.
Don't know why I'm scared. Maybe when i get my script written it won't be all tt daunting. But see, I really want it to mean something to people. I really hope tt the Lord will work through me so tt the msg can really make an impact. Of course I don't expect such radical changes, juz the thought of "hey...tt makes sense..." would be most encouraging:) So maybe because it's impt to me, hence I'm afraid to ruin tt chance. I wonder if all this thought abt self is wrong. So shd everything be left to God and I not care? That doesn't sound right either...maybe I will think it as more like a teamwork, partnership thing.
Anyway, I'm also pondering abt today's food for thought. What do I hope to achieve? All around me people r saying they really hate the present situation they are in, sometimes I agree, but something in me can never agree totally. Maybe it's because i hate hating any situation tt life brings me. Yupz. But yeah there are instances when I hatred is an understatement. So what do I hope to achieve from a hateful situation?? A friend told me tt there is a standard answer, we all hope to be the best that we can be blah blah blah...Yeah. So it's standard, it's simple as tt. What's is my best? Somehow, despite the fatigue and the effort, I don't really feel like it's my best...am I pushing myself too hard, or can I really give more.
Ah...will b sharing devotions next week. And honestly, i'm scared. I have an inkling of what I would like to share, but i haven't quite penned it down yet. I guess the reason for keep putting it off is because, I'm afraid it won't come out as how I want it to be or b as good as I hope for it to b. That's not right then, I mean this sharing is not abt self satisfaction or gratification. *sigh* furthermore, it's rather daunting to share with everybody...how strange, is not like public speaking is such a big deal. Furthermore I shd take heart that the Lord will grant me words and wisdom. I feel like Moses, I feel like telling Him tt I'm not worthy and I know not what to say or how to put His msg across to the people. Everybody seems to b so uninterested with what people have to say during devotions. It's really so silly, they can juz listen to at least gain a little insight on their self professed meaningless life, yet there has to be a constant parade of higher authorities on the look-out for people who really juz don't want to care.
Don't know why I'm scared. Maybe when i get my script written it won't be all tt daunting. But see, I really want it to mean something to people. I really hope tt the Lord will work through me so tt the msg can really make an impact. Of course I don't expect such radical changes, juz the thought of "hey...tt makes sense..." would be most encouraging:) So maybe because it's impt to me, hence I'm afraid to ruin tt chance. I wonder if all this thought abt self is wrong. So shd everything be left to God and I not care? That doesn't sound right either...maybe I will think it as more like a teamwork, partnership thing.
Anyway, I'm also pondering abt today's food for thought. What do I hope to achieve? All around me people r saying they really hate the present situation they are in, sometimes I agree, but something in me can never agree totally. Maybe it's because i hate hating any situation tt life brings me. Yupz. But yeah there are instances when I hatred is an understatement. So what do I hope to achieve from a hateful situation?? A friend told me tt there is a standard answer, we all hope to be the best that we can be blah blah blah...Yeah. So it's standard, it's simple as tt. What's is my best? Somehow, despite the fatigue and the effort, I don't really feel like it's my best...am I pushing myself too hard, or can I really give more.
// posted by grace @ 11:32 PM 
