Sunday, April 24, 2005
Another tomorrow
Most common dialogues with people:
person: I'm so tired...
grace: yeah me too...
silence
grace: Haha...so what's new?
So there you have it. My most commonly felt sentiments, most commonly exchanged greetings. Fatigue is a common-ground for me now. I am tired, yet I think monotony is not my cup of tea. For is a life worth living if one had positively nothing to do, or not enough to do? Yet 'tis paradoxical tt I'm tired but it's something that I made a choice in having. Henceforth, it's but my own fault and I wld juz have to stop waddling in self-pity. Maybe, I'm a workaholic...tt's quite a discovery. But I hope, tt in the future...the busyness of everything will not blur out my ability to really live.
Oh dear...but I sound sad...yet I'm not. Fatigue doesn't equate to sorrow does it? So there. But...happy? I am positive, but happiness most of the time, is a forced choice and it's fleeting. Dualities. What is happiness? My perceived happiness. Desires. Maybe they will formulate themselves in the future and then the equation for my happiness will be complete. Maybe. My thoughts seem to be rather disjointed...sorry.
I have been thinking alot and digressing alot and experiencing alot this few weeks. I like it. Yet, some of these do hurt. Shouldn't think so much. Shouldn't be in the frontline so often...but carpe diem, let me live life to the fullest:) I do wonder why I am so sensitive nowadays. Oh yeah, I forget, it's the changing process.
One of the few things tt have enroached my thoughts nowadays is heaven. It's nice when like-minded friends are around me...we talk differently. It's a lovely feeling:) We say to each other, "see you there", whenever there is no time to meet while on Earth. We digress what it would be like over there. Daniel thinks we will sing forever there, happiness will be multiplied by manyfolds, perfection will be realised. I think heaven will be a lovely garden, with soft lush grass, thousands of times softer than the carpet grass in gardens. Walks will be frequent there with loved ones, than He will appear as one of us and say, "Hey, how's your day?" My mum says heaven is paved with gold. All along the streets. My father says tt in order to pass the gates you need a passport, which is Jesus Christ in one's heart and a password, which the holy spirit will whisper to you.
Haha, such digressions...I wonder if all of it will be as we, in our puny little human minds can conceive. But, i think in all our knowledge, we really know nothing. Still it's nice to think about it, to know that there is something more out there better than all these.
Monday beckons. I think I'm becoming more and more like Garfield:) The weekends are usually tainted with the knowledge of another monday.
So how are you? I would like to ask. How are the days coming along for you? I have just begun reading a fab book by Catharine Lim:) The opportunity cost of that is me neglecting my lit books. Return of The Native is painful. My class refuses to continue reading The Things They Carried upon realisation that the author was a 'liar' because it was a 'work of fiction', despite the repitition that the whole story is true. Poor ms j. Geog is becoming more tolerable. Still wish I had the courage to drop something.
So in case we don't ever meet again, which is highly probable. I hope you will find your happiness...and guess what, I will see you there anyways.
person: I'm so tired...
grace: yeah me too...
silence
grace: Haha...so what's new?
So there you have it. My most commonly felt sentiments, most commonly exchanged greetings. Fatigue is a common-ground for me now. I am tired, yet I think monotony is not my cup of tea. For is a life worth living if one had positively nothing to do, or not enough to do? Yet 'tis paradoxical tt I'm tired but it's something that I made a choice in having. Henceforth, it's but my own fault and I wld juz have to stop waddling in self-pity. Maybe, I'm a workaholic...tt's quite a discovery. But I hope, tt in the future...the busyness of everything will not blur out my ability to really live.
Oh dear...but I sound sad...yet I'm not. Fatigue doesn't equate to sorrow does it? So there. But...happy? I am positive, but happiness most of the time, is a forced choice and it's fleeting. Dualities. What is happiness? My perceived happiness. Desires. Maybe they will formulate themselves in the future and then the equation for my happiness will be complete. Maybe. My thoughts seem to be rather disjointed...sorry.
I have been thinking alot and digressing alot and experiencing alot this few weeks. I like it. Yet, some of these do hurt. Shouldn't think so much. Shouldn't be in the frontline so often...but carpe diem, let me live life to the fullest:) I do wonder why I am so sensitive nowadays. Oh yeah, I forget, it's the changing process.
One of the few things tt have enroached my thoughts nowadays is heaven. It's nice when like-minded friends are around me...we talk differently. It's a lovely feeling:) We say to each other, "see you there", whenever there is no time to meet while on Earth. We digress what it would be like over there. Daniel thinks we will sing forever there, happiness will be multiplied by manyfolds, perfection will be realised. I think heaven will be a lovely garden, with soft lush grass, thousands of times softer than the carpet grass in gardens. Walks will be frequent there with loved ones, than He will appear as one of us and say, "Hey, how's your day?" My mum says heaven is paved with gold. All along the streets. My father says tt in order to pass the gates you need a passport, which is Jesus Christ in one's heart and a password, which the holy spirit will whisper to you.
Haha, such digressions...I wonder if all of it will be as we, in our puny little human minds can conceive. But, i think in all our knowledge, we really know nothing. Still it's nice to think about it, to know that there is something more out there better than all these.
Monday beckons. I think I'm becoming more and more like Garfield:) The weekends are usually tainted with the knowledge of another monday.
So how are you? I would like to ask. How are the days coming along for you? I have just begun reading a fab book by Catharine Lim:) The opportunity cost of that is me neglecting my lit books. Return of The Native is painful. My class refuses to continue reading The Things They Carried upon realisation that the author was a 'liar' because it was a 'work of fiction', despite the repitition that the whole story is true. Poor ms j. Geog is becoming more tolerable. Still wish I had the courage to drop something.
So in case we don't ever meet again, which is highly probable. I hope you will find your happiness...and guess what, I will see you there anyways.
// posted by grace @ 6:14 PM 
