Sunday, March 20, 2005
Maturation
That is my theme for Art. The project tt we are supposed to work with for almost the whole year. I guess i chose it cause the issue of maturation does fascinate me. Changes are always taking place whether we like it or not and growing up, crossing over, is juz another facet of life.
I think I have changed alot in my way of looking at things and my feelings towards certain issues. It's a possiblility tt maturation has taken place, and still is gradually. I'm being moulded and shaped as a person and as Christian. Sometimes though growth can be strange...one can still revert back to one's original state even after a period of growth. Haha...I think entering into jc does mark a change...in fact the difference in j1 and j2 to me is quite stark. Suddenly i've a panoramic view of what's before me and when i mention certain things tt i've noticed to friends they go, "yeah we knew tt a long time ago". I wonder what took me so long then to see what they saw. It's as if...J1 wuz a year of fluff...of seeing things in a positive light, finding joy in the simple things and being all idealistic. Then in J2...the cynicism starts to set in, and things juz turned uglier.
I used to feel very thankful for the friends that i meet at diff stages of my life. It didn't really affect me whether or not it could be maintained...i knew how to move on. But now, I feel sad that whenever we move on, we meet the new but sometimes we forget the old. Again im touching on the subject of transiency. I think I have this great fear for things tt do not last. That's because now i do see the futility in it all, to invest so much only to find tt it will not last anyway, or to see that others involved don't treasure it as much as you do. So why give? Indeed it's at times like this when i think it's better to be alone... But of course, my thoughts will once again revert back to trying to be positive...one should invest more into the relationship with the Lord, for he really is the only one true friend. Of course friendships and relationships tt has the bond with the Lord will also last forever, it's a tripartite.
Forget it, i really think it's selfish of me to keep wanting to receive something whenever i give. For isn't it more of a joy to give than to receive. Then freely i shall give to others and freely receive from the Lord!
After experiencing this stage of life...i wonder what the next will hold...and so on...Haha, does maturation bring about cynicism? For i do sense many having tt sort of attitude towards life and people. I feel weary of the world and her constant ramblings. Indeed, it's also through growth tt i now know why i feel so dissatisfied with the world and what she has to offer. I don't belong here...when one day i do leave after fulfilling my purpose. I shall leave with no regrets.
But i will also live with no regrets and perform this task onto the Lord.
I think I have changed alot in my way of looking at things and my feelings towards certain issues. It's a possiblility tt maturation has taken place, and still is gradually. I'm being moulded and shaped as a person and as Christian. Sometimes though growth can be strange...one can still revert back to one's original state even after a period of growth. Haha...I think entering into jc does mark a change...in fact the difference in j1 and j2 to me is quite stark. Suddenly i've a panoramic view of what's before me and when i mention certain things tt i've noticed to friends they go, "yeah we knew tt a long time ago". I wonder what took me so long then to see what they saw. It's as if...J1 wuz a year of fluff...of seeing things in a positive light, finding joy in the simple things and being all idealistic. Then in J2...the cynicism starts to set in, and things juz turned uglier.
I used to feel very thankful for the friends that i meet at diff stages of my life. It didn't really affect me whether or not it could be maintained...i knew how to move on. But now, I feel sad that whenever we move on, we meet the new but sometimes we forget the old. Again im touching on the subject of transiency. I think I have this great fear for things tt do not last. That's because now i do see the futility in it all, to invest so much only to find tt it will not last anyway, or to see that others involved don't treasure it as much as you do. So why give? Indeed it's at times like this when i think it's better to be alone... But of course, my thoughts will once again revert back to trying to be positive...one should invest more into the relationship with the Lord, for he really is the only one true friend. Of course friendships and relationships tt has the bond with the Lord will also last forever, it's a tripartite.
Forget it, i really think it's selfish of me to keep wanting to receive something whenever i give. For isn't it more of a joy to give than to receive. Then freely i shall give to others and freely receive from the Lord!
After experiencing this stage of life...i wonder what the next will hold...and so on...Haha, does maturation bring about cynicism? For i do sense many having tt sort of attitude towards life and people. I feel weary of the world and her constant ramblings. Indeed, it's also through growth tt i now know why i feel so dissatisfied with the world and what she has to offer. I don't belong here...when one day i do leave after fulfilling my purpose. I shall leave with no regrets.
But i will also live with no regrets and perform this task onto the Lord.
// posted by grace @ 2:42 PM 
