Sunday, February 06, 2005
Lost for words
Wellz, not literally. I'm not exactly lost for words cuz if I wuz i wldn't be able to type this. I guess it's juz tt my mind is point-blank now, the aftermath of writing a GP essay. You know it feel so unreal when you finally finish everything tt you hope to finish. Mayb this is how we will all feel when this life has come to past and we awaken to find ourselves in heaven. Like what people always say life is but a dream and heaven is the reality. Well, it is true. We r but foreigners, strangers in a country tt does not belong to us neither do we belong in it. Thanx Rachael for clearing up my many doubts. I think you are so right, I shd focus on His goodness. I wonder if me doubting God is blasphemous when I don't mean for it to be. I juz want to know tt's why I ask so much...hope it's not a bad thing and God won't hold it against me.
Monday is going to be a long day...but finally, Tuesday marks a short little break:) Haha, I sound like i live only for the hols, nah...live for the moment! Enjoy the present before it becomes history and falls into the past...I do hope for the future...but wellz, I wld rather remember to live now and juz take it a step at a time towards whatever God planned for me.
Yet, I reflect...and I do hope tt the doors he opened for me will eventually lead somewhere. I am immensely excited abt the prospects tt await me, yet something in me tells me tt it's not time yet despite tt it's right there staring in my face. To be or not to be...tt's the question. A question I ask myself everytime I make decisions...of course i choose to be...well, most of the time when I feel compelled to at least give it a try. The good thing is despite e occassional disappointments...I have never regretted because at least I dared to try, and tt gave me a hope to see if this is by His will. But then again...I remember talking to Daniel...and yeah, God's will isn't aligned to always give us happiness...*gasp*. Yeah it sounds quite bad when I first heard it...I mean if our God is a good God...then how can he not want us to happy right? But now I think i somewhat grasp His intentions, juz tt I don't noe quite yet how to phrase it...haha sounds rather paradoxical in itself...but oh well...i never said i had to ans to everything...i juz try to understand as best as i can the many 'whys' God puts in my life:)
On a lighter note. I still think of you sometimes and am praying for you always:) Goodnite.
Monday is going to be a long day...but finally, Tuesday marks a short little break:) Haha, I sound like i live only for the hols, nah...live for the moment! Enjoy the present before it becomes history and falls into the past...I do hope for the future...but wellz, I wld rather remember to live now and juz take it a step at a time towards whatever God planned for me.
Yet, I reflect...and I do hope tt the doors he opened for me will eventually lead somewhere. I am immensely excited abt the prospects tt await me, yet something in me tells me tt it's not time yet despite tt it's right there staring in my face. To be or not to be...tt's the question. A question I ask myself everytime I make decisions...of course i choose to be...well, most of the time when I feel compelled to at least give it a try. The good thing is despite e occassional disappointments...I have never regretted because at least I dared to try, and tt gave me a hope to see if this is by His will. But then again...I remember talking to Daniel...and yeah, God's will isn't aligned to always give us happiness...*gasp*. Yeah it sounds quite bad when I first heard it...I mean if our God is a good God...then how can he not want us to happy right? But now I think i somewhat grasp His intentions, juz tt I don't noe quite yet how to phrase it...haha sounds rather paradoxical in itself...but oh well...i never said i had to ans to everything...i juz try to understand as best as i can the many 'whys' God puts in my life:)
On a lighter note. I still think of you sometimes and am praying for you always:) Goodnite.
// posted by grace @ 11:13 PM 
