Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Ambitions, Hopes & Dreams
I have great ambitions in life...I hope it's not selfish to want to be successful. What with a world that is dying & people suffering...how can I still want to dream & hope for better when everything is so bad? That's why I wonder if my ambitions are selfish...I mean it's not like I dream to be a great humanitarian or selfless doctor helping out in the UN...rather mine leans more towards the er...more 'selfish' type of career path.
But not everybody can be called to do God's work...being missionaries & pastors. Mum says it's all in their calling...cuz tho it might seem silly...I feel guilty not wanting to do His work...it's juz tt I have other plans, always did. *sigh* I feel darn selfish now:/
It's pretty interesting to see how my career options seem to evolve over the years. When I wuz a child, used to really want to be an artist. Then as I got older, became obsessed with books, so I wanted to be an author. I even wrote a few incomplete stories. Haha, I never finish what I start...what a terrible habit. Ok, I'm exaggerating, I juz dun ever finish the stories tt I write. Now at this point in life, my back-up career choice would be to teach. But it's not exactly what I really want. I mean it's juz back-up!! Haiz...I want my career path to have something to do with music of course. I think that will always be my main passion. All the rest of my passions r merely fleeting...what I really would love is to be in a recording studio, writing & recording:) Gosh, heaven on earth:) In the end I always go back to writing...the lyrics aren't all that good...but they are from the heart. Of course there is also fashion, my other interest...but my parents wld rather I go into interior designing or architecture. Haha. Ok I dun mind. So let's see...what am I studying for? I don't quite know. Oh wellz guess it's typical for a person to know what he/she wants in life but it's best to complete one's education first. Honestly I dunno how Lit & Geog will help me later on in the future but u never know when it might come in handy.
Today is the 29th...time really flies...the New Year is juz round the corner and there r a few things which I do fear.
Orientation!! I'm partially clueless for mass dance 2005 & more than partially clueless for this year's mass dance. Argh...today is the last meeting for ogls & bummer...but I can't be there. Sorry Ben!! Pls go rehearse the mass dance cuz u gotta teach the guys, I only noe the girl part. haha. And to Wonus...Ben msg me & says u r missing!! where r u? haha, & dun worry babe the tsunami didn't get me:) And to Lifeng & whoever is in charge of the storyline, very cool but honestly...I still dun get it:)
*SIGH* Art...yes I do love thee yet I fear thee. It's such a disgusting burden on my back. I didn't have time to do it back home so I lugged it all the way here to do. Urgh. How to finish?? I'm dead...gonna get skewered, impaled!!! Sometimes I really feel like juz dropping...but I dun really like to quit.
*SIGH* Music exam...yes I do love thee yet I fear thee. Ditto Ditto. I really hate practising...plonking the stupid keys all day long is horrid...only if it's exam pieces. Where is my tenacity?? Come back! But I must...juz do it. Haiz, this is a classic example of love & hate.
Oh yes & who can forget the dreaded 'A's...it's ironic that we cannot see beyond the Os when we took them tt there is something much worse up ahead...Can't wait for it to be OVER!! I've planned so much stuff to do in my 'life after death'...So silly...wishing for it to be over even before I begin my new year.
Nevertheless, through it all at least I know my God You will always be there for me & I shd never fear. Indeed...through it all You will always be by my side. Everytime I remember this wonderful truth, I can't help but to feel immensely comforted.
When the oceans rise & thunders roar I will soar with You above the storm, Father You are king above the flood. I will be still and know You're God.
But not everybody can be called to do God's work...being missionaries & pastors. Mum says it's all in their calling...cuz tho it might seem silly...I feel guilty not wanting to do His work...it's juz tt I have other plans, always did. *sigh* I feel darn selfish now:/
It's pretty interesting to see how my career options seem to evolve over the years. When I wuz a child, used to really want to be an artist. Then as I got older, became obsessed with books, so I wanted to be an author. I even wrote a few incomplete stories. Haha, I never finish what I start...what a terrible habit. Ok, I'm exaggerating, I juz dun ever finish the stories tt I write. Now at this point in life, my back-up career choice would be to teach. But it's not exactly what I really want. I mean it's juz back-up!! Haiz...I want my career path to have something to do with music of course. I think that will always be my main passion. All the rest of my passions r merely fleeting...what I really would love is to be in a recording studio, writing & recording:) Gosh, heaven on earth:) In the end I always go back to writing...the lyrics aren't all that good...but they are from the heart. Of course there is also fashion, my other interest...but my parents wld rather I go into interior designing or architecture. Haha. Ok I dun mind. So let's see...what am I studying for? I don't quite know. Oh wellz guess it's typical for a person to know what he/she wants in life but it's best to complete one's education first. Honestly I dunno how Lit & Geog will help me later on in the future but u never know when it might come in handy.
Today is the 29th...time really flies...the New Year is juz round the corner and there r a few things which I do fear.
Orientation!! I'm partially clueless for mass dance 2005 & more than partially clueless for this year's mass dance. Argh...today is the last meeting for ogls & bummer...but I can't be there. Sorry Ben!! Pls go rehearse the mass dance cuz u gotta teach the guys, I only noe the girl part. haha. And to Wonus...Ben msg me & says u r missing!! where r u? haha, & dun worry babe the tsunami didn't get me:) And to Lifeng & whoever is in charge of the storyline, very cool but honestly...I still dun get it:)
*SIGH* Art...yes I do love thee yet I fear thee. It's such a disgusting burden on my back. I didn't have time to do it back home so I lugged it all the way here to do. Urgh. How to finish?? I'm dead...gonna get skewered, impaled!!! Sometimes I really feel like juz dropping...but I dun really like to quit.
*SIGH* Music exam...yes I do love thee yet I fear thee. Ditto Ditto. I really hate practising...plonking the stupid keys all day long is horrid...only if it's exam pieces. Where is my tenacity?? Come back! But I must...juz do it. Haiz, this is a classic example of love & hate.
Oh yes & who can forget the dreaded 'A's...it's ironic that we cannot see beyond the Os when we took them tt there is something much worse up ahead...Can't wait for it to be OVER!! I've planned so much stuff to do in my 'life after death'...So silly...wishing for it to be over even before I begin my new year.
Nevertheless, through it all at least I know my God You will always be there for me & I shd never fear. Indeed...through it all You will always be by my side. Everytime I remember this wonderful truth, I can't help but to feel immensely comforted.
When the oceans rise & thunders roar I will soar with You above the storm, Father You are king above the flood. I will be still and know You're God.
// posted by grace @ 10:35 AM 
